Thursday, June 25, 2009

Jpeg09 Pitches Product

The introduction of hi-def TV has generated some opportunities for the sales department. Pitching pimple crème or disaster du jour is problematic when the camera magnifies the script reader's all to human features into an exemplar of the problem your snake oil is said to solve. But, lemons to lemonade, there's a workaround.

1) A Smear Button: This application, activated from the home viewer's remote or the studio editor's desk, will be the digital equivalent of a soft focus lens. Make-up doesn't quite hide your talent's night out? Smear that datastream. Of course, advertisers will be offered a global override command. Don't want to mess with the carefully placed sparkle and digitally modeled dewy freshness as new product sweeps your audience off to their dreams.

2) Idolins: 3-D modeling tools can produce the perfect news reader. Fine-tuned by the latest polls for gender, ethnicity, delivery and so on, you can forget about those weekly checks, days off, and that dang diva temperament. Hawaiian, medium build, with a predilection for saris, just not selling like the old days? Click-click-click, and voilá tout, blonde, husky contralto, and a lascivious leer for the weatherman. Poignant pauses can be inserted when and where you want with interactions controlled for maximum return. Your script, profitably delivered, your way. No contracts, minimal maintenance, updates on the fly, and a legal blind spot ripe for exploitation. Now who do you think represents higher Q numbers with your sales demographic, Jpeg09 (above) or the overpriced employee yakking on your set right now?

No comments:

Post a Comment